Pultizer Prize-winning American columnist Jimmy Breslin wrote a front page feature story on Melanie Cane the author of Poisoned Love. Click on the icon to read Jimmy Breslin's cover story:
Dealing with Borderline Personality Disorder
Dealing with Borderline personality disorder can be very distressing for those who are afflicted as well as those around them. Because people with borderline personality disorder have an instable sense of who they are –they may view themselves as bad and evil one day and even feel as though they don’t exist at all, and because they also have unstable senses of other people (they see everything in black and white, so people are either great or terrible) their relationships are usually in turmoil. They may realize their behaviors and thoughts are self-destructive or damaging and even irrational, yet feel unable to control them. In Poiosned Love, I discuss how difficult it was for me dealing with borderline personality disorder in myself and my fellow patients. Dealing with borderline personality disorder requires intensive treatment to help them learn skills to manage and cope with their illness. In dealing with borderline personality disorder, you must educate yourself about the disease. Knowing is half the battle. If you feel those emotions coming on, take a step back and ask “what’s really here?” Surround yourself with people you care about and trust. Let them know you’re struggling. It is imperative one adheres to a treatment plan, attends all therapy sessions, practices healthy ways to ease painful emotions, rather than inflicting self-injury, doesn’t blame herself for having the disorder, but recognizes her responsibility to get treated, learns what things trigger angry outbursts or impulsive behavior, not be embarrassed by the condition, gets treatment for related problems such as substance abuse, and reaches out to others with the disorder to share insights and experiences.
Dealing with Borderline personality disorder can be especially difficult for those around her, including friends, relatives and co-workers. Dealing with Borderline personality disorder requires incredible patience, compassion, understanding, and tolerance. Borderline personality disorder people need to be understood and they also need tough love. In dealing with Borderline Personality Disorder, you have to learn to recognize the symptoms, including intense mood swings and horrific rages. These rages can leave loved ones in a state of shock and confusion because they seem to come out of nowhere. In dealing with borderline personality disorder, you must learn to live in the moment, because you never know what the next will bring. In dealing with borderline personality disorder, you must be strong enough to separate the illness from the person and be secure in your own sense of self worth. You must be completely clear about who you are, what you stand for and how much you are willing to put up with. In dealing with borderline personality disorder, you must be able to love the person in the midst of their borderline moments. In dealing with borderline personality disorder, you must point out to them gently how irrational their thoughts and behaviors are, but do not reject them. It is a type of reality testing they need and the knowledge that their perceptions of being abandoned, wronged, etc. are distorted.
In Poisoned Love, my psychiatrist demonstrated the best way of dealing with borderline personality disorder.
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