Pultizer Prize-winning American columnist Jimmy Breslin wrote a front page feature story on Melanie Cane the author of Poisoned Love. Click on the icon to read Jimmy Breslin's cover story:
Toxic and obsessive love
Rejection is the trigger of toxic and obsessive love. Four conditions help identify toxic and obsessive love: a painful and all-consuming preoccupation with a real or wished-for-lover, an insatiable longing either to possess or be possessed by the target of their obsession, rejection by or physical and/or emotional unavailability of their target, and being driven to behave in self-defeating ways by this rejection or unavailability. People with obsessive and toxic love disorder believe only the person they fixate on can make them feel happy and fulfilled. Witnessing a friend or family member suffering from toxic and obsessive love disorder can be distressing. Toxic and obsessive love is a form of love where one person is emotionally obsessed with another. The person with toxic and obsessive love wants total involvement with the object of their obsession. They limit their social life, neglect old friends and interests, are preoccupied with the other person’s behavior and fear the other person changing. Toxic and obsessive love involves jealousy, possessiveness, fear of competition, and the need to protect “supply.” The centerpiece of my illness in my book, Poisoned Love, is very similar to toxic and obsessive love.
Toxic and obsessive love is a delusion, and therefore can lead to dangerous consequences. Extreme toxic and obsessive love can be the cause of stalking, rape, suicide, and murder, among other things. In many cases, stalking begins as the relationship ends. One partner becomes obsessed, convinced that this is their ideal partner. The stalker may believe that the victim is in love with him or her. Borderline Personality disorder, which I describe in my book, Poisoned Love, sometimes leads to stalking behavior like in toxic and obsessive love disorder, but the person with borderline personality disorder is not usually delusional.
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